The Guests: Top 5 Ways to Avoid Losing Friends Once Married

While Brooke and How I Met Your Mother have proven that your friendships don’t necessarily go south once you get married, but just in case here are a handful of things to keep ships intact.



Chapters of Ships

A few years back my friends from high school and I met for lunch. No matter how much time passes between us, I really feel like we’re 16 again when all put in the same room. Yes, you can feel a little growth in the air as marriage and babies are now topics on the table but hey – when you’re pushing 30, that seems the norm. However, for me then…I was single and far from ever thinking any sort of “normal” was around the corner from me. Which was okay because I read on the almighty Tumblr once that you cannot compare your chapter two to someone’s chapter 14. While we may all be the same age, not everyone hits the same milestones and stages of life and that’s why I think it’s okay when you get married and find yourself making new friends along the way. Not to say you’ll ultimately leave your single buds forgotten in the shed like that kid in Room or anything because everyone has friends for the season and friends for life, and you have to realize that seasonal friends are going to come and go.


The Gospel of Good Charlotte

At least once in our lives we yearn to be a part of a cool crew. TV and movies make us want that popular lifestyle, and then we either get into the group, get over it or become bitter adults about it. For the bitter folks, I’m sure they’ve never heard Good Charlotte’s 2001 masterpiece “The Click.” A theme song for an animated series on MTV, it really grasped the idea of being on the outskirts of social fame, but rather than making it some daunting factoid – it celebrated the differences and made you okay about it. I heard it as an eighth grader and thank it fully for teaching me the so-called cool kids were nothing to admire. They had their way of life and I had mine. Which is a lesson that has lasted throughout adulthood.


The Secretary of the Fat Kids Club

Belonging is a natural want from human beings. Even serial killers want to belong and often times that lack of is the reason they do what they do – on top of being seriously wrong in the head. So yeah, we want to belong and that idea comes at a very young age. We seek out friendships as soon as we hit the playground, but over time those friendships shift into what we know as cliques. Even if we’d never call them that – every group in a school yard is one. From day one up until we graduate with diploma in hand. From the goths to the jocks to the fat kids – well at least that’s the first clique I can really remember being a part of.