Perhaps Brooke was right. You don’t have to lose friends and only hang out with married couples when you get hitched. I mean, look at How I Met Your Mother. They were an array of of couples and single people all coming together in good graces for the sake of friendship – and there never seemed to be anything that awkward going on. Minus the fact that the person you assumed was the mother was just a woman regarded as an aunt in the end who the main guy fell for after the mother died of cancer.
A few years back my friends from high school and I met for lunch. No matter how much time passes between us, I really feel like we’re 16 again when all put in the same room. Yes, you can feel a little growth in the air as marriage and babies are now topics on the table but hey – when you’re pushing 30, that seems the norm. However, for me then…I was single and far from ever thinking any sort of “normal” was around the corner from me. Which was okay because I read on the almighty Tumblr once that you cannot compare your chapter two to someone’s chapter 14. While we may all be the same age, not everyone hits the same milestones and stages of life and that’s why I think it’s okay when you get married and find yourself making new friends along the way. Not to say you’ll ultimately leave your single buds forgotten in the shed like that kid in Room or anything because everyone has friends for the season and friends for life, and you have to realize that seasonal friends are going to come and go.
One of the first people to hear about this blog/project was Brooke Segarra. She’s a friend I’ve never met face to face, but someone admirable I’ve come to know over the years thanks to blogging about this and that because she too is a writer as well as a publicist. Anyways, when she told me she’d actually gotten married at 22, I knew she was the person to ask about this week’s topic and what she had to say surprised me.
Here I was thinking that once you were married, everything changed but from the perspective of a 24-year-old wife married to a director of photography in New York – not much changed when it came to their social circles once they said “I do.” Now let’s get to more from Brooke about how tying the knot did, or rather didn’t, affect her friendships.
Doree Lewak wrote of being single in The Panic Years and said of your 20’s and 30’s, “…that period in your life where everyone is getting married and you’re well, still single.” So it’s all about how you have to deal with being the single friend, but married people have to deal with that dynamic change as well once they’re married. So single people, don’t just think your friend’s wedding affects you. Once you’re married, you’re not just two people casually dating anymore. You’re a damn pair and with that, friendships can be a little weird. Are your friends now suddenly his friends, or do you keep the two separate?