There was no way my virginity would have been nonexistent sooner than it had been because well, no one was really knocking on my door and I wasn’t really trying. That was of course after a panel at Comikaze led me to a dating site for geeks and I met numero uno. A girl not used to charm and such explicit conversations, I was swept under the hormonal tide. I definitely think low self-esteem and a shit show of a life at the time plus the naivety played into an emotional cluster fuck that was brewing.
One date in and I was like yup, he’s the one. Years of rom-coms led me to daydream about our life together. Soon enough my virginity was a thing of the past, much like my need for Kool-Aid on a daily basis. With that I got on birth control for the first time ever and fucking hated it. They warn you about the hormones being unbalanced but goddamn…I was a mess and how numero uno treated me only made it worse.
Basically an ear to listen at 2am and a vagina to fuck, he only cared about me when it was convenient to him, and his ex wasn’t around. Oh yeah, they were still besties. Anyways, emotions were working overtime as he fucked me over too many times to count. I started to slowly move on after he blew up at me for no damn reason. He later apologized and that last time we slept together I just felt dirty. A little voice in my head finally started to tell me I deserved better, but for some reason i hushed her up and instead of realizing I had more to offer, just slept with whoever was available at the time. While it helped me get over the OG asshole, it only led me to create a trail of assholes.
Wendy Williams says the best way to get over your first is to move on to a second, third and so forth and so on and while I did – I was just using sex the entirely wrong way. While I was able to move on, admit I made a few mistakes along the way, which I’ll tell you about if you’re interested in talking about sexcapade mistakes. All I will say now is that Jordan, you were the worst sex ever! Anyways I learned a lot about myself during that time and while I wish my virginity didn’t come with such an emotional tale, I am happy I was able to move on – be it with some bumps in the road – to find the right guy who doesn’t treat me like a piece of shit.