The Bloody Nosed Bandit
Nadine. I was a gullible first grader and she was a conniving second grader who scared me to death with her now-obvious lies about the principal being her uncle. She used that one to put the fear of God in me for a whole school year, so you don’t even know how happy I got deep down inside whenever her nose bled – which was a little too often. Nadine was my first official frenemy. One part fear, one part the stupidity of a first grade mind – I didn’t know any better and allowed myself to stay friends with this Problem Child for way longer than I should have, because one school year is an eternity. It was safe to say I was overjoyed when I reached second grade after the summer months and returned to see that Nadine had exited out elementary school. I wish her well today because I’m not as mean spirited as she once was (or still is?), but I do hope she thinks of me sometimes and feels bad for bullying me all those years ago.

Had this been today, I wouldn’t have stood by and believed her uncle was any sort of authority figure and I would’ve distanced myself from the tumor that is Nadine – keeping her at a distance. Because that’s how I feel one should deal with a frenemy as an adult. Be civil with people like that. I think you should very well be civil to most people in life – at least when they’re around because dramarama is an absolute buzzkill to be around. This is especially true if you and the frenemy share friends. Who wants to be around me and bloody-nose-Nadine if we’re bickering the whole time? No one, that’s who. So if me and bloody face were friends today, but low key did not like one another (still), I’d fake a smile and get through with the social event and be on my way.

Now that’s not to say I don’t live for drama. I love it from the audience, but hate being the star of the show. I’ve never been one for the spotlight. Plus, at almost 30-years-old, it’s like Paramore laments, “Some of us have to grow up sometimes…” Which is what I realized in bits and pieces after high school. Oh high school…I think I’ve mentioned before but we only had one high school that two middle schools had to come together for as freshman. When that happened my junior high buddies started to bond with these other kids and I wasn’t for it. I wasn’t for it for four years because – gross, why make new friends when you have a good thing going? Well one of those girls, I grew to loathe with such a passion, Mel Gibson could’ve takes it and added “of the Christ” to it. I called her my best friend’s “bad habit” once.

While I grew to tolerate and even like this girl, at the time I still think that’s one of my favorite lines. Anyways, years passed and I realized – what the hell was the point of hating this girl that did nothing to me in the grand scheme of things? Before I grew to like her though, I faked more than a million smiles when around her. It was easier when a drink or two was in me – but really, I grew up and over our adolescent past and today don’t mind her at all.

See, sometimes your frenemy can actually turn into a legit friend, but even if that never happens – you have to be civil. There’s too much going on in this world to let something petty get you down. Especially when you’re grown. Worry about your bills, bills, bills and don’t waste your time worrying about your hate for bloody nose McGee – or whoever it is your frenemy may be. Just smile, wave and move on. They really aren’t worth the worry.


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