The Haves: Top 10 Places to Retire
So you’re doing well for yourself now. Maybe everything else in your life is shit, but you’ve got a 401k (cool, I guess?) and if you stick with this job you’re at – hey, you could be sitting pretty in retirement one day. With that, you may want to check out these places I think are the top 10 places to retire to when the time comes.

10. Your Hometown
It’s shitty when you’re young, but there’s something comforting about familiarity when you’re old and want to just kick back.

9. Montana
I’ve never been, but I seen a picture recently and nature lovers will want to get out here to bask in the smell of actual trees. Plus, come on – it was part of the namesake of a pop culture icon.

8. The Bay Area
Despite my disdain for anyplace north of Six Flags, this place isn’t so bad if you’ve got a lot of money to spend in your retirement fund on a place to live.

7. San Diego
When the Bay fails to impress, San Diego is a nice place because it’s got the beachy aspects as well as real civilization.

6. Virginia
The air there is so fresh, this place is not advised for someone who grew up with smog. You could likely die from the natural smells of Mother Earth.

5. Washington
This seems like a place you go after you spent your time as some sort of scholar and still want to have intelligent conversations after you don’t have work to go into anymore.

4. Palm Springs
Small town living with modern day normalcies.

3. Hawaii
Does this even need an explanation? PARADISE. Done.

2. Canada
Judging by the current election, we may be heading towards a World War 3. So maybe we should just move there now so when it’s time to retire, we don’t have to move our stuff very far. Plus, maybe you could get cast as the hip grandparent on Degrassi, the Intergalactic Generation.

1. Nowhere, Just Travel Until the End
Why plant yourself down? See the world, it’s your last chance to!


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